Archive for January 28th, 2011

Ask a Cop?: Man that won’t leave me…..

—–Original Message—–
From: Anon
Sent: Friday, January 14, 2011 4:10 PM
Subject: a man that wont leave me


I have a boyfriend that lives with me. I want to break up with him and make him leave the house. I have tried to ask him to leave he refuses to he threated to hurt my dog and he will break things or they will magically disappear, i have to keep anything of value in my car all the time and I have changed the locks when he was out and he just broke the window when to get in. I have no family other than my son that lives with me. I cant afford to move. I rent the place my self and pay the bills my self also. what can I do? I live in Bell Gardens,ca. I don’t know if different city’s have different rules.

Thank you for your time.

We go to calls all the time where two people living together get in a fight and one wants the other to leave. But if your boyfriend has been living there and has property there, then basically he has "squatters rights", even if he doesn’t pay rent or utilities. And if you lock him out he can "legally" break in even though he isn’t on the lease. The problem you have is that he has established residency by living there and having property there. Unfortunately when cops go to a domestic dispute like your situation all they can do is ask one party to leave unless they can arrest the person for committing a crime or having a warrant. But that wouldn’t give you the right to put his stuff outside and lock him out, you’d be liable for his property if something happened to it.

There’s a lot of info missing like how long you’ve been together, any children involved, any prior domestic violence, how many times, if any, has the police been called, do you live in a home or apartment, etc. But there’s a few things you can try;

If the lease is only in your name you can go to court and evict him. Check with the appropriate department at your courthouse for advice and needed paperwork. See if your apartment complex can evict him.

If he is threatening violence, you can try to obtain a restraining order against him and the police can order him to leave. Then he can not contact you in any way or come within 500′ of your home, work etc. or it is a violation of the restraining order. Just make sure to put the reason why you are requesting the restraining order; threats of violence against you or your dog, breaking things out of anger, fearing for your safety etc. You can obtain a restraining order packet at a local courthouse.  

If it’s an apartment complex, explain the situation to the manager and ask if they will let you move to another apartment within the complex. Once you have a new residence and don’t allow him in, he’ll be trespassing or can be arrested for burglary if he breaks inside the new apartment. Just give him ample notice to retrieve his property from the old apartment before management discards it. Don’t take any of his property into your new residence. 

Easiest way will be through the courts with an eviction or if you fear violence or stalking, then a restraining order. Usually courts have a specialized unit within the Sheriffs department that deal with evictions and landlord / tenant issues. They may be able to give you advice on how to deal with your situation.